Arne Duncan, U. S. Secretary of Education, and Bill Gates, who needs no introduction, have teamed up as co-producers of a new 32-part education documercial “Gotcha!” Hosted by Oprah, the program will kick off NBC’s EducationNation 2013. The opening show explains the new law requiring teachers to wear radio-frequency identification tags that can be read remotely.

Noted education experts who will appear throughout the season include:

• the Kellogg’s team whose research indicated that eating Frosted mini- Mini-Wheat Bite Size Cereal increases kids’ school attentiveness by 20%;

• hair stylist to The Donald, head of The Trump Entrepreneur Initiative (formerly Trump University) as well as owner, with NBC, of Miss USA, Miss Teen USA, and Miss Universe franchises;

• Dr. Jason Penikwester, whose research shows which part of the brain lights up at the sight of money;

• Suzy Snitzel, whose recipe for “cooking a turkey in the dishwasher” has taken Twitter by storm (six 50-minute cycles for a 16-pound bird);

• owner of a mint 1958 Edsel Citation convertible who prefers to remain anonymous;

• a representative from the U. S. Marshal Service Unmanned Aerial Vehicle Service for Classroom Observation;

• Mark Mestleton, education entrepreneur whose book Getting Top Teachers to Stop Thinking Outside the Box has been optioned by Quentin Tarantino;

• Buzz Blizzard, CEO of Common Core Omega Testing, Inc., Ltd,
Esq., RCR, RCVD, FEO, QCEA

• Brent Staples;

• Jonathan Alter;

• David Coleman;

• Dennis Rodman;

• Bernie Madoff, whose prison sentence of 150 years will not
be affected by his cooperation;

• The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders;

• The Congressional Tabernacle Choir